Not Black Enough

There's a beautiful soft flower sculpture outside of San Francisco City Hall. I surmised it is part of an exhibit at the Asian Art Museum. (The exhibit runs from May 18 - September 2.) A woman asked about the sculpture, and I told her my discovery. As we walked toward BART, she said (1),

I've noticed there's a lot of celebration of Asians' contributions here, but not a lot of recognition of African-Americans'.

Oh. I hadn't noticed that.

I understand having a month to celebrate, but through September? That's just too long.

Well, it looks like a museum exhibit. I think that's normal time frame for exhibits.

I don't think we get enough recognition.

There's an African American museum.

And where is the African American museum?

Well, there's the African Diaspora Museum on 2^nd…

(I didn't know exactly where the Africa-American museum was, but I'd been to the Diaspora one.)

It's just too much.

What about Picasso? Um, the D'Orsay? When they came to Legion of Honor it ran from October? through January? (2)

That's different. That's a person.

No, the D'Orsay was a collection. But I see your point, I finished, as we parted ways.

Seriously? You complain about Asians being recognized while walking in front of the Asian Art Museum? In San Francisco? Where Angel Island was the Ellis Island of the West, ushering many Chinese into California?

I'm not saying African Americans didn't play a prominent role in the city (the Fillmore district comes to mind), or that more recognition isn't warranted. But there's been a significant Asian presence in San Francisco since Gold Rush days. It should not be minimized.

This is why some folks don't think I'm black enough.

(1) Not verbatim, of course. My memory's not that good. <snort> My memory's not good at all.

(2) Yea, I know I have the details wrong. But you get the gist, yea?

Dog is my Co-Pilot

Is a bumper sticker in response to God is my Co-Pilot, which is assumed to be a Christian thing.

It's not, really. Christians know that God is the Pilot and we are sitting in first class, sipping a nice Riesling and/or eating a pudding pop.

Of course, this doesn't stop us from going into the cockpit. Or rather, taking a long time to leave. We're easily deluded by the notions a) we are in control and b) we know what we're doing. We think we're impressive with all the buttons we push and switches we flip.

God is patient. Though He can only do so much when while we're in the cock pit, he doesn't throw us out. He waits for us to leave on our own.

If your Dog is my Co-Pilot sticker is an attempt to be anti-Christian, well. . .you're not really succeeding on that front. But hey. It's a cool bumper sticker. And dogs do have a good sense of direction, so, you know. It's all good.

Practicing Forgiveness

Stormie Omartian said, "We choose to forgive, whether we feel like it or not. It's a decision, not a feeling."* She also pointed out that forgiveness is not a one-time deal. We may need to make that choice every two seconds when we're in the presence of someone who has frayed our last nerve.

I'd already decided to forgive several people I'd been grudging. Their ways, their manners, how I felt disrespected…Over the years I'd become a deaf defensive reactionary. Written or verbal, when they spoke, I couldn't hear them. I stopped listening.

Of course, grudging leads to bitterness, which is very unhealthy. Do not underestimate the power of the dark side.

(Yes, you should say that in a Darth Vader voice.)

So I decided to forgive, though I don't feel very loving or forgiving when I think of these folks. I decided they were being themselves, and it wasn't their fault they couldn't think like me. They're not me. That's actually a good thing.

One of these people asked for my help. They wanted me to explain something they didn’t' understand. Despite numerous meetings, they were still trying to wrap their heads around a technical project.

I obliged. Unhappily.

And was quickly frustrated. Their historically brusque style pinged my defensiveness. Are you even hearing what I'm saying? How many times do I have to tell you this is an example document, not the actual filing category? Lord help me.

I forgive you for being you. Declaring this helped me remember they were trying to understand.

Something my boss said came to mind - 'You're two steps ahead of everyone else'. My heart softened a little bit more.

I forgive you for being you.

I must've said it at least four times, as questions went on to tangents and misconceptions were re-corrected.

I never felt forgiving. There was no warm and fuzzy. But with every declaration came a recognition of who and where they were.

My pride shrank a little. My grace grew a little.

*from The Power of a Praying Woman

From Tabloid Headlines

When Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, it was a tabloid dream. After all, theirs seemed a fairy tale courtship and wedding. What seamy secrets led to her decision?

Reports indicate it all came down to religion. She was uncomfortable with what he wanted to teach their daughter. Terrified, actually, if the reports of how she left him are true. Those read like a stealth escape from a coolly maniacal villain.

What comes to mind is Paul's admonition to the church at Corinth: Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Paul was talking about Christians marrying non-Christians. But regardless of the religion, there is tension in a household with divergent beliefs. One gets upset the other goes to church every Sunday. One gets frustrated the other must meditate for an hour a day. And so on. It's hard to be unified when two are standing on separate foundations.

Maybe Katie thought Tom would become less fervent. Perhaps Tom thought Katie would become more active. It appears each underestimated the magnitude of the other's beliefs.

It appears

they were unequally yoked.

In Memoriam: Alex Motley

At first blush it seems Alex was two different people. After all, he lived in two different worlds. He was a hockey player, coach, and mentor in his day-to-day. Sunday mornings, he would be at church, working with the AV team. His church family knew he played hockey, but didn’t' know his hockey family. And his hockey family may have known he went to church and was a Christian, but they had never encountered his church family.

When the two worlds met on Saturday to remember and reflect, it was clear Alex did not lead a double life. Everyone spoke of his smile, his humor, and his encouraging words. Indubitably, he was close enough to perfection on earth that the finishing touches were ready to be applied in heaven.

That's the thing about genuine people. They are the same no matter where they are or who they're with. Hockey families and church folk alike knew who Alex was.

Fake people are not so. They lead double lives, hiding truth and walking deceitfully. The contradictions in character can be so strong there is confusion about who the person is.

Psalm 1 verses 1 - 4 comes to mind:

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.

The ungodly are not so, but are like the chaff which the wind drives away.

A genuine person is like a well-nourished tree, providing sustenance and shade, supporting others and living well.

A fake person is like chaff, the inedible part of a grain that's not worth eating and takes too much energy to turn into bio-fuel*. No shade, no sustenance. Nothing.

Alex was genuine. He is, and will always be, missed.

*I don't know that chaff can' be turned into bio-fuel without leaving a heavy carbon footprint. Holler if you know