This Duggar Thing

Or rather, my questions and comments about this Duggar thing. I'm not going to rehash the whats-it – relatively accurate information about the sexual abuse which was committed 13 years ago can easily be found online.

Why did he do it? Does he know why he did it?

I ask because some may find it helpful for healing

if he could explain why he did what he did for however long he did it.

Herein lies an opportunity to begin a mature conversation about

the nature(s) of this type of abuse,

why one may abuse at such an age and in such a way, and, of course,

potential ways to prevent others from engaging in this type of abuse.

How old were the victims at the time?

We may assume the victims were both pubescent and moderately developed, for why would one fondle an undeveloped breast? But logic does not necessarily apply in cases of sexual abuse.

While no less grave, there is a peculiar kind of horror the farther the distance between the ages of the victim and the abuser. I would like to be assured the horror is not as large as I can imagine.

What sort of help did the victims receive?

He received "counseling" in the form of roughly 4 months of exile and hard labor, followed by a stern talking to from a law enforcement professional. What, if anything, did the girls receive?

I hope they know they did nothing wrong, nothing to deserve such treatment. And despite it continuing for a year after the patriarch was first made aware, who ever told,

and told again,

and told again,

did the right thing in telling.

Forgiveness & Responsibility

Many Christians are taught that God forgives us utterly and completely. Many of us are also taught that forgiveness is not the same as escaping the consequences of our actions. We are forgiven, but must take responsibility for what we have done.

Because the son did not face the legal consequences of his actions at the time of the abuse,

and because the parents and other adults did not seek to enforce such consequences,

some have a sense he did not and has not taken responsibility for his actions.

So when some hear the call for forgiveness,

the sound echoes as an effort to avoid responsibility.

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The last time I regularly stopped on TLC, it was to watch Trading Spaces and While You Were Out. My awareness of the reality TV stars which have come from the TLC universe is peripheral at best; I only recognize the family name from the copious ads for one of the daughters' wedding. I've never seen the show, did not know it had been on as long as it has, and have no intention of trying to watch past episodes on the internet. For the most part, I have little regard for folks whose claim to fame is reality television, particularly those whose 'talent' is being on a reality TV show*.

That is to say, I don't particularly loathe or love the family. I wish them no ill will.

*Exhibit A: The Kardashians. Remember when Cardassian was simply species on Star Trek? And while the Ds are not the Ks, their claim to fame appears to be having a lot of kids. Which would be of entertainment interest to me if they were either looking for a house or remodeling their house. Otherwise, <a la Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive>, "I don't care."