Or rather, my questions and comments about this Duggar thing.
I'm not going to rehash the whats-it – relatively accurate information about the
sexual abuse which was committed 13 years ago can easily be found online.
Why did he do it? Does he know why he did
it?
I ask because some
may find it helpful for healing
if he could
explain why he did what he did for however long he did it.
Herein lies an
opportunity to begin a mature conversation about
the nature(s) of this
type of abuse,
why one may abuse
at such an age and in such a way, and, of course,
potential ways to
prevent others from engaging in this type of abuse.
How old were the victims at the time?
We may assume the
victims were both pubescent and moderately developed, for why would one fondle
an undeveloped breast? But logic does not necessarily apply in cases of sexual
abuse.
While no less
grave, there is a peculiar kind of horror the farther the distance between the
ages of the victim and the abuser. I would like to be assured the horror is not
as large as I can imagine.
What sort of help did the victims receive?
He received
"counseling" in the form of roughly 4 months of exile and hard labor,
followed by a stern talking to from a law enforcement professional. What, if
anything, did the girls receive?
I hope they know they
did nothing wrong, nothing to deserve such treatment. And despite it continuing
for a year after the patriarch was first made aware, who ever told,
and told again,
and told again,
did the right
thing in telling.
Forgiveness & Responsibility
Many Christians
are taught that God forgives us utterly and completely. Many of us are also
taught that forgiveness is not the same as escaping the consequences of our
actions. We are forgiven, but must take responsibility for what we have done.
Because the son
did not face the legal consequences of his actions at the time of the abuse,
and because the parents
and other adults did not seek to enforce such consequences,
some have a sense
he did not and has not taken responsibility for his actions.
So when some hear
the call for forgiveness,
the sound echoes
as an effort to avoid responsibility.
The last time I regularly
stopped on TLC, it was to watch Trading Spaces and While You Were Out. My
awareness of the reality TV stars which have come from the TLC universe is
peripheral at best; I only recognize the family name from the copious ads for
one of the daughters' wedding. I've never seen the show, did not know it had
been on as long as it has, and have no intention of trying to watch past
episodes on the internet. For the most part, I have little regard for folks
whose claim to fame is reality television, particularly those whose 'talent' is
being on a reality TV show*.
That is to say, I don't particularly loathe
or love the family. I wish them no ill will.
*Exhibit A: The Kardashians. Remember when
Cardassian was simply species on Star Trek? And while the Ds are not the Ks,
their claim to fame appears to be having a lot of kids. Which would be of entertainment
interest to me if they were either looking for a house or remodeling their
house. Otherwise, <a la Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive>, "I don't care."
